The Debate

I thought I'd write about a subject that I haven't quite made my mind up about yet. I have continued to reflect upon what transpired at the baby shower I went to a couple of weeks ago. I have absorbed your kind as well as motivating comments, but to be truthful, I still have not quite decided what tract I am going to take when introducing my Ian to strangers.

Some have said that I need to be bold, to walk into the room full of new people and say, "This is my son Ian. He has Down syndrome." But at the same time I don't think I would walk into a room of strangers and announce that my son has terrible acne when introducing him (much like I had as a teenager!). Others have said that they would have done just as I did and say, "This is my son Ian" and leave it at that. I for sure want to be an advocate for my son. I want to show the world that I love him ever so much just as he is, but I am still grappling with how best to do that.

Not For The Squeamish...a funny story!

So Silvi, our two year old daughter, got into my tampon box this morning. Trying to be open about these things I showed her the inner workings of the thing. A few minutes later she ran back into the room with the tampon around her wrist saying, "It's a bracelet, it's a bracelet!". I laughed so hard. I returned to my e-mail writing only to look back at her a couple of minutes later as she was using two tampons as drumsticks and using the cat as the drum! What a funny girl she is!!!

Well...That Was Awkward!

Yesterday an English friend and I threw a baby shower for a mutual friend. The way it turned out though was that no others from our circle of friends were able to make it. Only the guest of honor's friends, who we'd never met before, were able to come. So, everyone arrives whilst my little Ian is sleeping in his car seat in a distant corner of the room. While we were all making introductions and making small talk Ian would periodically stir. He would lift an arm or a leg and let out those cute noises he makes. The guests would make comments like, "oh, how sweet", or "I love it when babies make those darling noises". All the while I respond with slightly uncomfortable smiles and nods, knowing that when Ian finally does wake up and joins us, the ladies are going to have a situation they weren't expecting; My son has Down syndrome.

Ian finally wakes and I bring him to the circle of "friends". As I set him on my lap I say to the ladies "This is Ian", but I do not look in their eyes to see the reaction they have to his not being a "typical" child. I love my son beyond words, but I am SO ashamed to say that I am also very uncomfortable making this introduction. The ladies say "hi Ian". Absent of course were the freely expressed "Oh how cute" when a new baby is brought into a room. I think I may have heard a strained "how sweet" above the din of thoughts rushing through my head. Conversation starts up again about other subjects.

I've heard about our kids with Ds doing inappropriate things in social situations, but I thought that wasn't something I was going to need to deal with until a year or so down the road. Surprise! Yesterday was the day it began. Ian has this noise that he makes when he is uncomfortable in some way. It is kind of a grunt mixed with a squeal. It is not the most pleasant sound. So, yesterday, for whatever reason, he really went for it. It seemed like his grunt/squeal was three times as loud as normal, or did it just seem that way because I was so uncomfortable with the situation? He did his "thing" and the room immediately fell silent. I made some off-handed comment like "oh my! What's up, buddy?" while dying a thousand deaths inside.

During the baby shower there were no desperate pleas to hold my baby like there would have been had Ian been a "typical" baby and there was no peppering me with questions about what Ian is up to. That's hard to take because in our eyes he is SO sweet and SO fun and SO precious, that it's difficult when people have a hard time seeing past his challenges to "see" him.

NORMAL!?!

This evening I was looking through one of those parenting magazines and some choice words fell from my lips before even realizing it. All I read of the article was the title and that was enough to make me close the mag. The title was, "What Normal Babies Should Be Doing". I may be a little sensitive, but who can blame me with having a sweet little baby at home with Down syndrome. The word "normal" has changed for me in the last five months. Normal to me now is a gazillion doc. visits resulting in failed hearing tests, a failed vision test and the so-called "routine" heart surgery that our son Ian underwent. "Normal" has become subjective to me and to many others with children with special needs.

James Denton

Hi Babe,

Like the pic I chose for my blog? For those of you visiting us for the first time this picture is of me and our daughter, Silvi, but NOT of my husband! That's James Denton from Desperate Housewives. I just put it on here to harass my husband, Tom!!! ;0) Happy Valentine's Day Babe!!!

Let's Begin!

My husband Tom has been urging me for ages to start a blog. He actually set this blog up for me back in October. As you can see I am just now getting around to actually writing something! I assume that most of you are visiting my blog because you have come across his, www.narrowridge.blogspot.com. He's such a good writer and has a fun and often dark sense of humor! But that's why we like him! (love you, Babe!) I'm happy to say that I've kind of gotten to know some of you from reading your comments at narrowridge. All that to say, welcome to my blog! I'm glad you stopped by. Now, if only I could think of something to write! ;0)